Choosing to rely on nanny services can be a difficult decision for a parent to make. Even if a parent loves his or her job and wants to return to work, leaving a precious child in the care of a nanny can bring up unexpected feelings. As the nanny begins to bond with the child in their care, they might find themselves being the target of jealous feelings from the parent, but there are things both the parent and the nanny can do to diffuse the tension that comes with jealousy.

Stay Involved

A parent might be devastated to miss first steps and first words, or even the precious moments that come from otherwise ordinary parts of the day. The nanny can make a parent part of these moments by texting the parent cute pictures or little snippets of video. The nanny and parent also can work together to allow the parent to be part of the child's day as soon as the work day is over. Perhaps the parent could feed, bathe, or read to the child the moment he or she comes home while the nanny picks up the last of the toys before going home for the day. 

Respect Each Other

Parents have to keep in mind why they chose the nanny they did. It was likely because they thought the nanny would provide a fun, caring, and nurturing environment for the child. A child is likely to love someone who cares for them and plays with them all day. Parents should work to remember that the more people who have a close bond with the child, the better. Even if the nanny and child are close, no one can replace the parent. Nannies can support the parent–child relationship by refusing to undermine the parent's rules and parenting style. Even if the nanny doesn't agree with all of the rules or chooses a different style of parenting for his or her own children, as long as the rules aren't abusive or harmful, they should be followed. 

Communicate

If feelings of jealousy do arise, the best thing a parent and nanny can do is talk about them. An experienced nanny likely has dealt with jealousy in the past and should be able to handle it gracefully. If the parent and nanny have a frank discussion, they likely will be able to come up with solutions together. Allowing jealousy to simmer below the surface will cause problems in the relationship between the parent and nanny and, ultimately, will negatively impact the child. 

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